Biography
Karalie’s passion for people began with her birth into a service-oriented nuclear and extended family, the first daughter and second child in a family of seven siblings. Caring for younger siblings, playing on the farm, reading books, church and school filled her childhood in Roosevelt, Utah and Wendell, Idaho. She studied family and human development at Ricks College. With her husband of 25 y ears, Jeffrey Stokes, she is applying those skills in nurturing their six children ages 8 to 23. She is empathetic, a compassionate listener, an impressive cook, artsy & creative, and prefers meaningful relationships.
Read her 3-minute speech on “What Being A Mother Means to Me” (To Be Posted Soon)
Parenting Philosophy
I have always been interested in child development and what makes a child thrive. I know we are a mix of our heritage and genetics, and we are a product of our environment. It seems that, all these things considered, we might not have a great impact on how children grow to be productive citizens. But I find – that at the core – there are deep emotional needs that are needed no matter what career we pursue or who we become. After I had my first child, my study continued as I have read every parenting book I could. Many parents try to protect their children from everything, but my desire is for them to push their limits and set their own boundaries. Letting natural consequences take their course when bad decisions are made provides learning opportunities.
I’ve always wanted my children to be able to govern themselves. When my kids wanted to climb a tree I’d say, “Climb higher!” I want them to claim their own success and learn from their own boundaries. That doesn’t mean I just set them free! I often talk to them about how their decisions impact their daily lives as well as those around them, I try, for example, to teach them that being polite isn’t just a rule to follow; it builds character. I’ve noticed that every child struggles with they often feel they have been wronged or ignored. That is when I am guided by this quote, “When you go looking for a friend they can be hard to find, but when you go looking to be a friend there is never enough time.” That has been how I encourage my kids when they have challenges with peers.
Motherhood and Community
I enjoy serving my community. I don’t love to be in charge or in the spotlight, but I do feel great satisfaction from doing small things consistently that make life better for many individuals. I love teaching children how to be happy and serve
others. I love helping young men and women recognize their self-worth. I love helping with activities and events that mentor teenagers. Self-worth comes from learning to love yourself and then helping others learn to love themselves so
that all become happy contributing members of society. I learned this from great examples in my family. My father was guided by a strong moral compass as he cared for his immediate family as well as his parents, extended family and others in the community. Often his acts were known only to those served. My mother was a stay at home mom, like me, who gave her all to care for her children and help our family overcome the road blocks of life. She loved and supported us and
never gave up.
I continually look for needs among my friends, neighbors, and community members that I can fill. Sometimes it’s a young mother with postpartum depression, and I can take her children once a week to give her a day just for herself. When a neighbor moves, I help them in the move out process, and then go visit them in their new home to help them get settled. I love taking homemade bread to my neighbors. Serving my neighbors helped me acquire our two youngest children. We had already decided foster care was a way to serve children in the community and were licensed to be foster parents when I heard that my neighbor was overwhelmed with two foster kids she had taken in. I volunteered to do respite care for them. (Respite care is licensed babysitting since foster children have to stay in a legally licensed home.) These two boys were quite a handful at 2 and 3 years old. The oldest had suffered the most trials in his short life. Because of that, he had many behaviors that were hard to deal with. He has a challenging personality and won’t let anyone be in charge of him. His trust is hard to earn and easily lost. The younger boy is a bundle of energy who struggles with learning but works so hard at everything he does. The two of them together create more chaos than most people can handle. Becoming acquainted with these boys gave me the opportunity to change from respite care to foster parenting for the next two year after which we adopted them. The emotional upheaval on my family was significant, but they all stepped up to the challenge. This made our family even stronger.